Hali, in a box.

Let me explain to you how this dating site works.

You obviously have a profile, where you can put into your own words, well, yourself. Along side this long (or short, depending on one's desire) bio, is a space where you are pretty much generalized: Ethnicity, Height, Religious beliefs, Income, Pets, Kids, etc. You are also allowed to upload 10 pictures of yourself. Three show up right away when someone takes a gander into your domain, so obviously those are going to be your most appealing, I took 100 selfies to get this one, shots.

Now, I was slightly unsure of how I wanted to fill out my profile. I didn't want it to say that I was in Nashville, because I was going to be moving to Portland, but I wasn't in Portland yet either. Instead of trying to narrow down myself, which a bio does naturally, I am going to share with you EXACTLY what my little space of interweb says about Hali LeVasseur:

MY SELF SUMMARY:
Hi, I am Hali!

Up front: I love the Lord. If you aren't a man of God, I am sorry, but we have come to the end of the road (Cue Boyz II Men). I am looking for someone who is walking in their true identity within Christ. That has a passion for loving and serving others. And who expects the same from me.

I should also state that I currently live in Nashville, Tennessee. I am moving to Portland in May of 2014. God has called me to the NW, and has only recently been opening doors to bring that plan into fruition. I am not entirely sure what is in store for me there, but it's going to be an adventure.... with that, somehow, if a connection is made on here, the time gap between now and my move will be opportune for getting to know someone. Patiently.

I am a free spirit, but am not afraid to stand my ground when I have a conviction.
I grew up a classical musician.
I firmly believe that sarcasm is a love language.
I have an eccentric sense of style, including a collection of prescription glasses.
I have Jimmy Fallon's initials tattooed on me.
I have a cat, I will always have a cat, no exceptions.
I have recently picked up a passion for hiking - though I am not very experienced.
I have gone sky diving twice.
I lived in China for a month and a half teaching English, and doing missions work.
I love sports.
If you have award worthy facial hair, I will be smitten.
I can't think of the word "smitten" without hearing, "Charlie Kelly here...."

I took a class on how to work with Oxen.
I want to experience everything outdoorsy - take me hiking, rafting, and rock climbing with you! I must learn!

WHAT I AM DOING WITH MY LIFE:

I currently manage a holistic chiropractic office, which entails a lot of PR work with multiple businesses, including the Players Association, and NFL Alumni Association. I am hoping to find a similar job out west. My heart is to uplift and encourage everyone I meet.

I AM REALLY GOOD AT: 

Picking out song lyrics within every day conversations.

Asking little kids questions that completely baffle them, such as, when they can't reach something, I ask them where their wings are (not cracking a smile).

Being a white girl who thinks she is a black girl on the dance floor.

Giving gifts. Strange gifts.

THE FIRST THING PEOPLE USUALLY NOTICE ABOUT ME:

I am exceptionally tall for a girl, 5'9"
I laugh a lot, whether it is an appealing laugh or not has yet to be clarified.
I am also part Israeli, and have the nose to prove it.
My skin? This is what I have been told.

FAVORITE BOOKS, MOVIES, SHOWS, and MUSIC:

BOOKS: Bible, East of Eden, Unbroken, Mere Christianity, and My Russian Grandmother and Her American Vacuum Cleaner.

MOVIES: Saving Private Ryan, White Christmas, When Harry Met Sally, The Intouchables, The Loft, and almost any documentary on life in another country.

SHOWS: I am just going to get it out there and say that I really get into The Bachelor and The Bachelorette (I realize 90% of you just threw up). Revenge, Friends, Parenthood, New Girl, The Mindy Project, and anything on the NatGeo or Discovery channel. And of course... Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

MUSIC: Yes, I did see Sisqo open for the Backstreet Boys during their Black and Blue tour. Amos Lee. Ray Lamontagne. The Mowglis. David Grey. Etta James. Johnnyswim. Bing Crosby. Lee Fields. Anything classical or Motown. Can I just copy and paste my entire iTunes account in here?

THE SIX THINGS I COULD NEVER LIVE WITHOUT:

Jesus.
Almonds.
Fall (the season).
Hats.
My cat.
Music.

I SPEND A LOT OF TIME THINKING ABOUT:

The fact that we are floating in space. Not kidding. I think about this all the time.

ON A TYPICAL FRIDAY NIGHT I AM:

Karaoking.

Bubble bathing.

Reading in a coffee shop.

Getting dressed up for a dinner date with friends.

Attempting to salsa dance with men a solid 6+ inches shorter than me.

Or crocheting. Yes.

THE MOST PRIVE THING I AM WILLING TO ADMIT:

I am a virgin, and plan on being one until I am married.

BOOM!

(I literally think from point A. of this profile to this very moment, 98% of you have drifted away.)

YOU SHOULD MESSAGE ME IF:

You are a son of the King of Kings.
Live in the greater Portland area.
Don't expect me to pop out 5 kids and start a Dugger sequel.
Aren't looking to just date around.
Have enough chutzpah to be a man, a leader, and stand your ground. (I am not a push over #Detroit)

That my friends is me, in a constrained box. 

Along with your bio, the site has hundreds of questions for you to answer. These questions are what helps determine your match percentage with another site member. Some of the questions are:

How many dates would it take before you would have sex with someone:

1-2

3-4

5-6

After the wedding.

You would put your answer, and what you desire your match to answer. There is also a space at the end of each question where you can explain why you put the answer you did. 

Some of the questions were far less serious, such as:

If a piece of solid food fell on the floor, would you pick it up and eat it:

Yes

Depends on the food

Gross!

The more of these questions you answer, the more accurate matches you will be paired with. On each person's profile, it automatically will show you your Match %, Friend %, and Enemy %. This saves you from wasting time on scowering their questions, or slugging through conversation via messages, just to find out if you could be compatible. 

Based on my answers for most of the questions, and my generalized description of myself, it's safe to say that I am one in a few conservative women on a secular dating site. At first I felt like this experience was pointless, especially after the first day, and not seeing anyone within a 70% match of myself. But, as I opened up my eyes and spirit to the experience, I have found that this is going to prepare me for so much more than just trying to meet a Christian man. This is preparing me for a culture shock that is going to reel through every fiber of my being, when I move to Portland.