As a rule of thumb, that I have applied in "real life" dating, and have now transferred over to "virtual" dating, I don't make the first move with men. Perhaps this is old fashioned. Maybe I am not wearing a T-shirt that says, I AM WOMAN - HEAR ME ROAR! I am okay with this. Now, don't get me wrong, I do have my beliefs that times have changed over the years, and that women have a tremendous amount of authority and leadership in the world. BUT, I still stand strong in my convictions that men are to be the leaders, and pursuers in a relationship.
With that being said, I absolutely, undoubtedly, and unequivocally refuse to message a match online, before he messages me. Now, at first I thought, "Well hey, my profile (laid out for you in my previous post) CLEARLY states that I am looking for a man of God. It blatantly says to message me if you are a son of the King of Kings, SO I will just sit back and wait for a few weeks until one of those comes along and decides to man up and introduce himself to me." 10 minutes rolls by and I have 7 messages in my inbox from men with a match percentage of 40% or less to me.
Some of the messages asked me why I am moving to Portland, though I explained that clearly in my profile. Some asked if I wanted to come over that night to rent movies, which meant that they wanted a booty call (and I do have a little extra boot to my booty), and that yet again, they didn't read my profile to see that I didn't even live there yet. One said that he was a Christian and loved the Lord, yet all of the "intimate" questions he answered said that he would have one night stands after the first date, and that he had to have sex before marrying the woman he was dating. One message even told me to "Move to fucking Austin with the rest of your hypocrite Christian brothers and sisters, and stop trying to save Portland.", which honestly confirmed to me that I really need to move to Portland. BUT, there was one message, that really topped them all.
Aaron.
His profile picture is of a handsome, athletic built man, wearing khaki shorts and a light blue polo. He is on a golf course, about to swing, and let me tell you... those arm muscles were rippling. Needless to say, at first glance, the man wasn't too shabby. I decided to open the message he sent me. The first thing I notice is that next to his picture, above the message body, it says that my Match % with Aaron is 0, and my Enemy % is 68. This is what Aaron felt like he needed to say to me:
Hey there, I was on here a while ago, and now I'm back. I saw your profile and couldn't pass you up. You are gorgeous. You should read my profile, and if you think we would get along, message me back : ) I think we could have lots of fun : ) I'm Aaron by the way!
We would get along? We could have fun? Now, I have people in my life that are literally the polar opposites of myself, but we know that dating would never work. But this is a DATING website. My curiosity was sky high. I had to read this guy's profile... and it was golden. Golden in the sense that, well... I will let you come to that conclusion on your own:
So I want to be as open and upfront as possible in what i'm looking for. I am definitely not looking to hurt anyone in this adventure. I'm just looking for a fun girl to hang out with and see where it goes. i'm not looking for love, or anything serious, I am attached but our sex life is pretty non existent. she knows I am looking outside of our relationship to satisfy that need, but she doesn't want to know anything about it. If that is a deal killer for you I totally get it. Honestly I just want to find a girl who is just as naughty as i am and wants to have fun. I love to fulfill fantasies and love to please. I am a nice guy, i'm a professional, and have a very sexual side. so if you are fun, and outgoing and think you can keep up, then we should definitely talk : ) Id love to make you my dirty little secret : ) I have lots more pics if you are interested, so don't be shy.
Aaron... Oh, Aaron.
If there ever was a person, that was the Anti Hali, it was him.
Either he completely didn't read my profile, and has a habit of copy/pasting the same message to any girl, with a halfway decent face in her profile picture. OR he genuinely thought that those rippling arm muscles would completely sway my desire for a man who is "walking in their true identity within Christ". IF not for that, then he completely didn't pick up on the seriousness of my Boyz II Men reference, which is equally as terrible as him not reading, or caring, that I am virgin, and am going to be one until I am married.
With all of that mayhem laid out for you, I want you to hear this: never in my life have I been more sure that I am supposed to move to Portland. These messages from men, saying they are one thing, and answering questions stating the complete opposite, breaks my heart. Now, some of these guys are scums, who know exactly what they are doing, and that it is 100% ungodly. But there are some, that I honestly don't believe, know that there is so much more to a relationship with Christ than what they're being fed. I am not saying that I am the key to saving Portland. I am not saying that I am the most patient and loving person in the world, and that accepting these people with tenderness is just going to warm my heart. It is going to be rough. It is going to be absolutely miserable some days. But I am okay with that, because I know that I have the Rock of all Ages (not Dwayne Johnson) beneath my feet. And this same Rock, that will steady me through the trials and tribulations of moving out West, will be the same Rock that brings me my 100% match. Whether that's online, or in the cat food aisle of the local grocery store, I don't know, but I am excited to find out!
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